Trigger warning: discussion in links about rape/violent assault.
This is going be short just because I don’t have a ton of time to spare, but let’s just say I’m incredibly disappointed with a blogger this morning. It’s not really in my nature to name-and-shame but to see the same stuff in the blogging world as I see in real life compels me to say something. I don’t know the “story” very well, just been seeing it via links on Twitter and then this response.
Long story short, a blogger in the “gold-making” circles (which is a subject I do not really follow in the blogosphere), has been posting lately from a hospital after being attacked viciously by 5 men. Other gold bloggers feel concerned about her plight and organize a White Ribbon show of support (White Ribbon is an international group concerned with stopping violence towards women). She’s obviously in pain and still blogging, and another blogger (Critical Goblin) feels compelled to talk openly about how he thinks she’s making it up, or it is really a scam by other people.
Now, I admit I don’t go through some of the links on her blog, I didn’t like the idea of click-through ad/sale links and I’m a fairly savvy Internet person. But some dude on a blog philosophizing that her story is untrue because “this isn’t what I’d do if I had something serious happen to me” falls right in line with what people do to rape/assault victims every day: not believe them. Why is what you think you’d do in the event of you being attacked important here? You suggest that people do not talk about rape because they don’t want to tell the whole world. Why do you think that is, Critical Goblin?
Because people shame them into silence. They don’t believe what horrible, terrible thing happened to them.
Look, you can not want to donate or whatever. I get that. Giving money on the Internet requires a leap of faith these days unless you can verify the donor. But the charities being presented in Gold Queen’s posts are legit and do support really noteworthy things. But leave your gross, rape culture views out of it. Or perhaps realize that this isn’t your life to critique. Rape victims should be allowed to speak out in whatever way they feel comfortable doing, even if you think it isn’t how it should be done. On the Internet where we are allowed to talk about being sad about killing Internet dragons, someone should be allowed to use the slight bit of anonymity the Internet gives them to discuss something that is painful and terrible that happened to them. No one should feel silenced.
Frankly, if this really is a scam, I’d rather go down defending someone or something fake rather than disbelieving a story from a rape victim.
Critical Goblin has amended his post a bit to reflect the criticism thrown his way. I don’t think he fully understands the gravitas or true argument being presented here but that’s the problem with people who have never had to deal with this in their life. It blinds you to how harmful it really is, and combined with societal expectations for victims to “act” a certain way…well, we can have that conversation another time.
If you feel compelled to do something, you can support The Gold Queen by putting a White Ribbon on your blog, for her and other women touched by violence and assault. You can also donate to White Ribbon.