One of the few things a geek feminist fears more than say, wiping on Deathwing 15 minutes into the fight, is probably fan mail. Feminism is one of those incredibly polaring topics to some people, and a lot of people (okay, well, men) get fairly defensive and odd about having stuff like privilege called out. A lot of things I have to say make a lot of people feel uncomfortable, even if most of the time I’m discussing pandas and armor. It’s not nice to have someone point out that you possibly have a benefit they don’t, especially if you weren’t even aware you had this benefit. So when I get a long e-mail or comment from someone, I tend to flinch a tiny bit. A lot of feminists I know tend to have to go through the same process over and over with regards to a lot of geeky men in their lives (if not any men in their lives who are aware of their latent social justice views) trying to unpack a lot of the concepts us feminists are so entrenched in every day. It does get tiring. So, in that vein, is pretty amazing when not only do I get an e-mail that feels like it is just going to go down the same road of demanding education and then getting wildly defensive when it actually occurs and doesn’t. It is even more amazing when you feel like you’ve really helped open someone’s eyes, and they thank you for the pleasure of it.
I asked this person if I could repost what exactly was said (more or less) just so you guys can get a sense of what goes through my mind when I have men asking me to educate them. My comments as they went through my head are in bold.