I’m going to gank Oestrus’ style here with the less wordy titles and keep it simple. I don’t usually feel given to dashing off posts while in the heat of the moment (okay, who am I kidding here) but I decided to strike while the iron was still red hot.
I won the Best Noticed Blogger Breakthrough of 2011 tonight via MMO Melting Pot. When I read the Tweet, I started screaming in my living room and running around. I couldn’t believe it. Why me? Why me over everyone else? I was up against some pretty intense competition that I consider some of my must-reads! People I consider way more creative and smart than little ol’ me! But the people have spoken and felt that I was the winner. I can’t even begin to tell you what it means to me. However, that won’t stop me from attempting it.
*small gnomish chuckle*
It is true, I am not new to blogging. For anyone who wasn’t aware, I used to write for Empowered Fire. It is something I’ve kept hidden to some facets of my audience, mostly because I felt so regretful about the reasons for my abrupt departure from the blogging world. I had been on top of the world for the better part of a year and a half, helping out new mages and women in the Warcraft world and having to give that up for intensely horrifying reasons (read: being harassed and stalked) without nary a word to our larger readership was a personal blow. It took me a long time, as well as therapy and some legal intervention to finally feel “ready” to make my way back to the Internet and speaking my feelings on all and sundry. I was scared for a very long time that showing my face online would cause the same problems I had encountered before. However, I couldn’t just stay away. I finally got back on my feet and hit the ground running. It wasn’t long before things were making me feel passionate and angry and so I came out the gate swinging. The fact that I’ve gained an audience so quickly while speaking even more vociferously than before on topics that are important to me gives me heart. The fact that I was given this award for not only “being noticed” but because people respect my opinions and have been alerted to some problematic elements of our gaming culture just takes my breath away. It makes me feel like not only did MMO Melting Pot “gets” me, but all of you do too.
I’m not an easy person to get along with by any stretch of the imagination, especially for any of you who read my Twitter. I have very strong beliefs and very steadfast notions on how the world should work. I point out people who bother me, things that are problematic and shit (for a lack of a better word) that needs to be broken down and rebuilt. This award just gives me hope and motivation to keep on doing what I’m doing, to keep making things for you guys to absorb and think about. To shoulder a world that has pushed me down before. Having you guys at my back lifts me up higher than I could have ever expected. I’ve met so many awesome people and gotten so much praise. I feel like a phoenix from the ashes. Nothing can stop me now, not even the sky.
I’ll keep writing it if you guys keep reading it.
Let’s make this year great together.